The Sports Gag

Breaking! Adam Schefter is an unstoppable cyborg.

Adam-Schefter-Cyborg-01As of 4pm yesterday afternoon the new NFL league year is in effect. That means movement and news in abundance. This is the time of year when players are traded, cut, and signed to new teams. The volume of information flying around yesterday afternoon was so great that Twitter broke down. And, who’s at the center of it all? That’s right, the NFL inside man extraordinaire Adam Schefter. Obviously not limit by the tweet limit that, when exceeded, land common citizenry in “Twitter jail”, Schefter delved out hundreds of tweets. In fact, he’s STILL going strong. So strong that it can be said with near certainty that the “man” we all know as Adam Schefter is actually no human man at all. He is, in fact, a cyborg. He needs not sleep nor sustenance. The Schefter 1000 feeds only on NFL player and team information and can consume and process it with lightning speed and unmatched (and inhuman) accuracy.


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